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Coronavirus humor (non political)

Started by pbiflyer, April 05, 2020, 08:15:50 PM

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tower912

#75
May 05, 2020, 11:30:39 AM
So desperate for human contact that I am chatting up the robocalls.   My car's extended warranty and Medicare information I didn't request is suddenly fascinating.
Luke 6:45   ...A good man produces goodness from the good in his heart; an evil man produces evil out of his store of evil.   Each man speaks from his heart's abundance...

It is better to be fearless and cheerful than cheerless and fearful.

GooooMarquette

#77
May 05, 2020, 09:28:57 PM
Quote from: tower912 on May 05, 2020, 11:30:39 AM
So desperate for human contact that I am chatting up the robocalls.   My car's extended warranty and Medicare information I didn't request is suddenly fascinating.

Lol! I will have to give that a shot.

An extended warranty, you say?  ;D

StillAWarrior

#78
May 07, 2020, 12:21:21 PM
This made me laugh out loud.

I was so disappointed to learn that it's not "real" -- but the trolling was 100% real.  And it was glorious.


Never wrestle with a pig.  You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.

Spotcheck Billy

#79
May 12, 2020, 12:43:57 PM Last Edit: May 12, 2020, 12:46:48 PM by Greggery Peccary
.

TSmith34, Inc.

#80
May 13, 2020, 08:11:02 AM
https://twitter.com/TravisAllen02/status/1260351757353443329

The Obama administration secretly installed cameras in all public places.

They're tracking you with facial recognition technology.

WEAR A MASK THAT COVERS YOUR MOUTH AND NOSE SO YOU CAN'T BE TRACKED.

Please retweet and like to spread to all the true patriots!





If you think for one second that I am comparing the USA to China you have bumped your hard.

Galway Eagle

#81
May 13, 2020, 08:15:15 AM
Quote from: TSmith34 on May 13, 2020, 08:11:02 AM
https://twitter.com/TravisAllen02/status/1260351757353443329

The Obama administration secretly installed cameras in all public places.

They're tracking you with facial recognition technology.

WEAR A MASK THAT COVERS YOUR MOUTH AND NOSE SO YOU CAN'T BE TRACKED.

Please retweet and like to spread to all the true patriots!

That is hilarious
Maigh Eo for Sam

tower912

#82
May 13, 2020, 09:29:30 AM
Triple reverse psychology.   Nice.
Luke 6:45   ...A good man produces goodness from the good in his heart; an evil man produces evil out of his store of evil.   Each man speaks from his heart's abundance...

It is better to be fearless and cheerful than cheerless and fearful.

ZiggysFryBoy

#83
May 13, 2020, 10:44:23 AM
Quote from: TSmith34 on May 13, 2020, 08:11:02 AM
https://twitter.com/TravisAllen02/status/1260351757353443329

The Obama administration secretly installed cameras in all public places.

They're tracking you with facial recognition technology.

WEAR A MASK THAT COVERS YOUR MOUTH AND NOSE SO YOU CAN'T BE TRACKED.

Please retweet and like to spread to all the true patriots!

Impeach Obama.

pbiflyer

#84
May 14, 2020, 08:40:32 AM
Why NYC is the COVID hot spot that it is:

Loud talking could leave coronavirus in the air for up to 14 minutes

https://www.technologyreview.com/2020/05/13/1001696/loud-talking-could-leave-coronavirus-in-the-air-for-up-to-14-minutes

Hards Alumni

#85
May 14, 2020, 08:47:00 AM
Quote from: pbiflyer on May 14, 2020, 08:40:32 AM
Why NYC is the COVID hot spot that it is:

Loud talking could leave coronavirus in the air for up to 14 minutes

https://www.technologyreview.com/2020/05/13/1001696/loud-talking-could-leave-coronavirus-in-the-air-for-up-to-14-minutes

But if you talk loud in NYC you will have 20 people telling you to "Shut your, (^*&%*%&( mouth".  Unless it's the subway, then you put your hat out and get paid!

pbiflyer

#86
May 16, 2020, 08:56:39 PM
Every single person that had a job interview in early 2015 got the question "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" wrong.

GooooMarquette

#87
May 18, 2020, 01:49:23 PM
Saw this one on Texts From Last night:

I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?

ZiggysFryBoy

#90
May 19, 2020, 11:01:17 AM
Of all the people out of work right now, men are the real victims. They're losing a whole dollar for every 79 cents women are losing!!

h/t @bubola

MU Fan in Connecticut

#91
May 19, 2020, 11:01:47 AM
Quote from: pbiflyer on May 19, 2020, 10:46:00 AM


Oh my God!

Is that like Rodney Dangerfield telling Kurt Vonnegut he doesn't know anything about Kurt Vonnegut?

warriorchick

#92
May 19, 2020, 11:21:49 AM
Quote from: ZiggysFryBoy on May 19, 2020, 11:01:17 AM
Of all the people out of work right now, men are the real victims. They're losing a whole dollar for every 79 cents women are losing!!

h/t @bubola

Have some patience, FFS.

GooooMarquette

#93
May 19, 2020, 04:59:10 PM
Quote from: MU Fan in Connecticut on May 19, 2020, 11:01:47 AM
Oh my God!

Is that like Rodney Dangerfield telling Kurt Vonnegut he doesn't know anything about Kurt Vonnegut?

I think the better analogy would be someone telling Ners he doesn't know anything about dunking.

jesmu84

#95
May 21, 2020, 10:08:56 AM
Overheard today at Home Depot:

"I tried going to that communist store down the street. Ya know the one - Menards. They make you wear a mask now. I want to sue them for my right to go in the store"

I chuckled.

The Hippie Satan of Hyperbole

#96
May 21, 2020, 10:11:03 AM
Yes.  John Menard is a noted communist.
Matthew 25:40: Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.

MU Fan in Connecticut

#97
May 21, 2020, 10:30:04 AM
Quote from: jesmu84 on May 21, 2020, 10:08:56 AM
Overheard today at Home Depot:

"I tried going to that communist store down the street. Ya know the one - Menards. They make you wear a mask now. I want to sue them for my right to go in the store"

I chuckled.

News articles on Connecticut reopening today made mention of stores hanging up signs that read, "No shoes, no shirt, no mask, NO SERVICE."

jesmu84

#98
May 21, 2020, 10:48:53 AM Last Edit: May 21, 2020, 11:07:00 AM by jesmu84
https://nypost.com/2020/05/20/nurse-disciplined-for-wearing-only-bra-and-panties-under-ppe-gown/

Russia appears to be developing excellent patient care protocols

tower912

#99
May 21, 2020, 10:51:55 AM
Quote from: jesmu84 on May 21, 2020, 10:48:53 AM
https://nypost.com/2020/05/20/nurse-disciplined-for-wearing-only-bra-and-panties-under-ppe-gown/

protocola
How much caffeine?     Does it come in diet?     And, since it is Russian based, is it safe to have near a 5G tower?
Luke 6:45   ...A good man produces goodness from the good in his heart; an evil man produces evil out of his store of evil.   Each man speaks from his heart's abundance...

It is better to be fearless and cheerful than cheerless and fearful.
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