We could all use an occasional laugh. Post your funniest.
(https://scontent.fmia1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/92232442_10218612861565034_6690201541149720576_n.jpg?_nc_cat=101&_nc_sid=ca434c&_nc_ohc=20RepEStHkAAX-64ztQ&_nc_ht=scontent.fmia1-1.fna&oh=6785e9adb67623fe33d5332b028e6bbf&oe=5EAF695C)
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.
A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles,
she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
Enjoy your « afternoon lockdown »
(https://scontent.fmia1-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/92099098_10159530012278976_8371890273592016896_n.jpg?_nc_cat=110&_nc_sid=ca434c&_nc_ohc=6ezlZEOJGAAAX_4OPky&_nc_ht=scontent.fmia1-2.fna&oh=4f6225f228f0cb010fdaffaf7212b567&oe=5EB04426)
https://twitter.com/thecoronamemes
(https://scontent.fmia1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/92624920_10215711943327294_4936701423669739520_n.jpg?_nc_cat=103&_nc_sid=ca434c&_nc_ohc=LiuFbfNRpwQAX_k4kdL&_nc_ht=scontent.fmia1-1.fna&oh=2c78d7719c2a2cb54f04542b865aa315&oe=5EB08291)
What is worse than the coronavirus?
Cabin Fever.
nm
Keith is impervious to everything.
When restaurants are open, you can always see the Richards family out to eat in Weston, CT.
.
That freshman girl I knew who caught Covid?...
I won't be held responsible
She was touching her face.
Quote from: MU Fan in Connecticut on April 08, 2020, 09:54:02 AM
Keith is impervious to everything.
When restaurants are open, you can always see the Richards family out to eat in Weston, CT.
Kieth cannot be killed by conventional weapons....
https://video.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?fr=yhs-trp-001&hsimp=yhs-001&hspart=trp&p=waynes+world+kieth+richards+line#id=1&vid=5b2cfa0edb53095343156ebf978365c2&action=click
Somewhat related .. Pat McCurdy hosts a live concert from his living room.
It's on right now:
https://www.facebook.com/HeyPaddy/videos/228762061679769/
So... more quarantine babies or quarantine divorces?
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMBh-eo3tvE)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMBh-eo3tvE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMBh-eo3tvE)
(https://i.redd.it/z6cwylrzj5s41.jpg)
Quote from: tower912 on April 11, 2020, 10:46:56 AM
So... more quarantine babies or quarantine divorces?
I got a 6 year old girl and a 3 year old boy looking for a good home.
They could go as a pair, but honestly I could careless at this point.
https://youtu.be/Ms7capx4Cb8
(https://scontent-mia3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/93844135_10158386863372244_3717385686081339392_n.jpg?_nc_cat=109&_nc_sid=8024bb&_nc_ohc=x5o-qHtpAq4AX8SioRR&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-2.xx&oh=c3d4743c1adfeaa5bad9fac5f85fb949&oe=5EBAD07C)
Yoko Ono Sings on City Streets to Ensure NY Residents Stay Inside
https://madhousemagazine.com/yoko-ono-sings-on-city-streets-to-ensure-ny-residents-stay-inside/.
At the urging of New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, Yoko Ono has agreed to sing, to keep residents off of city streets.
Governor Cuomo stated "Yoko will be used strategically wherever and whenever a crowd forms. Just today we deployed Ms. Ono to Crown Heights, Brooklyn, where a wedding was taking place. There were 300 guests congregating and within 3 minutes, the streets were completely empty. It was a sight to see, those people were running through the streets and jumping out of windows to escape the horrific screeching."
No one will know where or when Yoko will pop up and begin her screaming and caterwauling. For extreme cases, Yoko will perform her latest single, "Ear Splitter". "I call that song the 'H' bomb", said Cuomo. "It's actually a little cruel, but extreme times call for extreme measures."
Yoko Ono music was used on prisoners at Guantanamo Bay until Amnesty International declared it to be a form of war crimes and it was outlawed. Yoko said she got her sound inspiration when she was a little girl. "I saw a cat get run over by a car once and I just thought it was the most beautiful sound. I have been trying to emulate it ever since."
Quote from: Greggery Peccary on April 14, 2020, 03:12:14 PM
Yoko Ono Sings on City Streets to Ensure NY Residents Stay Inside
https://madhousemagazine.com/yoko-ono-sings-on-city-streets-to-ensure-ny-residents-stay-inside/.
At the urging of New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, Yoko Ono has agreed to sing, to keep residents off of city streets.
Governor Cuomo stated "Yoko will be used strategically wherever and whenever a crowd forms. Just today we deployed Ms. Ono to Crown Heights, Brooklyn, where a wedding was taking place. There were 300 guests congregating and within 3 minutes, the streets were completely empty. It was a sight to see, those people were running through the streets and jumping out of windows to escape the horrific screeching."
No one will know where or when Yoko will pop up and begin her screaming and caterwauling. For extreme cases, Yoko will perform her latest single, "Ear Splitter". "I call that song the 'H' bomb", said Cuomo. "It's actually a little cruel, but extreme times call for extreme measures."
Yoko Ono music was used on prisoners at Guantanamo Bay until Amnesty International declared it to be a form of war crimes and it was outlawed. Yoko said she got her sound inspiration when she was a little girl. "I saw a cat get run over by a car once and I just thought it was the most beautiful sound. I have been trying to emulate it ever since."
That joke would have last been funny 30 years ago.
Quote from: Fluffy Blue Monster on April 14, 2020, 03:18:58 PM
That joke would have last been funny 30 years ago.
Very true, I don't write 'em, just posting 'em
How about Usain Bolt's social distancing?
(https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/im6_x3K794sfmvdK0G_Qiw--~A/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjtzbT0xO3c9NzY4O2g9NTc4/http://media.zenfs.com/en_us/News/afp.com/805eb5f5a8a83308699d6c27ae4baf382423d8c5.jpg)
(https://3b6xlt3iddqmuq5vy2w0s5d3-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/state-of-security/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/Dept-of-Treasury.png)
Quote from: rocky_warrior on April 15, 2020, 03:47:10 PM
(https://3b6xlt3iddqmuq5vy2w0s5d3-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/state-of-security/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/Dept-of-Treasury.png)
Seems legit...doesn't say where to send the $50, though.
(https://scontent.fmia1-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/93473078_10157748079893183_1217747795352485888_n.jpg?_nc_cat=100&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=vUolvYl2GwcAX9izRjo&_nc_ht=scontent.fmia1-2.fna&oh=9f34f21dc067a7983893f7cf39b012e2&oe=5EBE3229)
(https://scontent.fmia1-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/93314545_10157745135343183_2520953976627658752_n.jpg?_nc_cat=105&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=_5mm2HA70LkAX9LeVlf&_nc_ht=scontent.fmia1-2.fna&oh=235be3b3d62e0c63789c4b87fcec8461&oe=5EBC2DDE)
Cops Urge Residents to Wear Pants When Checking Mail
'This is your final warning'
(Newser) – Police in a Maryland town have urged residents—or, perhaps, one specific resident—to remember that they still need to wear pants when they go outside, WTHR reports. "Please remember to put pants on before leaving the house to check your mailbox," the Taneytown Police Department said in a Facebook post Tuesday. "You know who you are. This is your final warning." Like the rest of Maryland, residents of Taneytown, population 7,000, are under a stay-at-home order. USA Today notes that pants are apparently no longer a big priority for millions of people working at home during the coronavirus pandemic: Walmart execs say they are selling more tops, but not bottoms.
https://www.newser.com/story/289631/cops-urge-residents-to-wear-pants-when-checking-mail.html?utm_source=part&utm_medium=uol&utm_campaign=rss_top
Saw this today and thought it was fitting with all the protests emerging now.
I wonder if previous civilizations had to deal with whiners like this?
"Man we Gott open the gates."
"We've been through this, Phil. the Mongols are outside."
"But I've gotta harvest my turnips."
"MONGOLS"
"Ugh. But we've been in here for WEEKS."
"That's how sieges work, Phil."
"But the mongols have barely killed anyone in days."
"That's because of the walls, Phil."
"Are you sure? Maybe the Mongols aren't that dangerous.:
"..."
"I'm just saying, how bad could it be. They can't kill ALL of us"
"That is literally the thing they do.:
"But my turnips..."
Related, did anyone watch Avenue 5. The scene where they all decide this must be a reality show reminds me of what is going on now.
(https://scontent.fmia1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/92952822_1352409451619230_5216607427352330240_n.jpg?_nc_cat=106&_nc_sid=ca434c&_nc_ohc=PwXLPSQ2q0wAX_Doaec&_nc_ht=scontent.fmia1-1.fna&oh=f6c79fd7cddcc8564a39c2d3cb8ea11f&oe=5EC208DB)
(https://i.imgur.com/Sr23Hek.jpg)
That truly made me laugh out loud!
Beauty.
If you are fans of the Lori Lightfoot memes, this is a great source.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1064058447302561/?multi_permalinks=1081938765514529¬if_id=1587135604186918¬if_t=feedback_reaction_generic
(https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/94356727_4196328550380908_4415549009641340928_o.jpg?_nc_cat=107&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=OlbE3VOPuzMAX-S32iW&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=90370e107ed28a5bb4ce1d40e879774e&oe=5EC62DE3)
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/g5u99d/wow_this_sums_up_everything_we_have_been_told_so/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
(https://scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/s960x960/94118857_2325888944378288_2429703226010894336_o.jpg?_nc_cat=110&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=r5jgNqGhCUoAX8-5J6E&_nc_ht=scontent-sea1-1.xx&_nc_tp=7&oh=f2a2e7f35eebfb7d46148c904d6f4e35&oe=5EC6A83F)
Quote from: jesmu84 on April 22, 2020, 01:16:33 AM
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/g5u99d/wow_this_sums_up_everything_we_have_been_told_so/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
That's more sad than funny.
Quote from: Fluffy Blue Monster on April 14, 2020, 03:18:58 PM
That joke would have last been funny 30 years ago.
I think it was hilarious. But it has been at least 30 years since anyone really cares what I think.
So true.
What kind of jokes does the CDC recommend?
Inside jokes.
Wacka wacka wacka
(https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p526x296/94177079_2774506926001579_5525106875160330240_n.jpg?_nc_cat=105&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=k1bXgns2wFYAX-hW1fj&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&_nc_tp=6&oh=9f61edd51e7dd3ab07ef39ee0895a1ab&oe=5EC7F3FC)
(https://scontent-msp1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/s960x960/93421059_929471954157463_766001881028755456_o.jpg?_nc_cat=1&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=kdsfSMowmJsAX9yH0Q0&_nc_ht=scontent-msp1-1.xx&_nc_tp=7&oh=979c3bf2eadf94a2325f063a84cb037a&oe=5EC71676)
Quote from: tower912 on April 11, 2020, 10:46:56 AM
So... more quarantine babies or quarantine divorces?
Divorce. My wife is currently not speaking to me as I am not taking COVID seriously enough. Ironies abound.
These are awesome:
https://www.facebook.com/pg/strilling/photos/?tab=album&album_id=108114034183227
Quote from: tower912 on April 27, 2020, 07:57:05 AM
Divorce. My wife is currently not speaking to me as I am not taking COVID seriously enough. Ironies abound.
Its cuz you went golfing, isnt it?
Quote from: tower912 on April 27, 2020, 07:57:05 AM
Divorce. My wife is currently not speaking to me as I am not taking COVID seriously enough. Ironies abound.
Maybe she's tired of hearing how great the Bad Boy Pistons were. ;)
Yes to Ziggy, no to Cheebs. She is a Hoosier and loved Isaiah Thomas.
Quote from: tower912 on April 27, 2020, 10:06:12 AM
Yes to Ziggy, no to Cheebs. She is a Hoosier and loved Isaiah Thomas.
Got news for you kin, mad wives and golf have nothing to do the the 'rona. 8-)
I know. And with her working from home, she now is going to see just how often I go out during the week. It will not be pleasant.
(https://i.redd.it/ai2ia4kk1su41.jpg)
When they come out with Clorox gummies, I am in!
That's not non political, but it is amusing!
(https://scontent.fmia1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/95364612_2614848312089670_2851997467254194176_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=Hx-eiQfiVGsAX-XDHeC&_nc_ht=scontent.fmia1-1.fna&oh=feb09e8e01aff43ef2cc36a830397c12&oe=5ECBE941)
Based on my personal observation, the prize so far for the most convoluted "in these unprecedented times" ad goes to Leaf Filter, whose product prevents leaves from getting into your gutters. I will sleep better tonight knowing that they care.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iqjGCLXQyA
Not specifically COVID humor, but after seeing this, I can no longer watch a press briefing with somebody doing sign language behind the speaker.
Quote from: tower912 on April 27, 2020, 07:57:05 AM
Divorce. My wife is currently not speaking to me as I am not taking COVID seriously enough. Ironies abound.
Thou shall not COVID thy neighbors wife, eh?
Too good not to share.
This is beyond awesome.
https://twitter.com/MattWalshBlog/status/1256263756767789057
Quote from: mu_hilltopper on May 01, 2020, 02:15:30 PM
This is beyond awesome.
https://twitter.com/MattWalshBlog/status/1256263756767789057
Eating ass would be the last part i would go for.
Quote from: mu_hilltopper on May 01, 2020, 02:15:30 PM
This is beyond awesome.
https://twitter.com/MattWalshBlog/status/1256263756767789057
Such a scumbag
(https://snipboard.io/ByISRg.jpg)
Drinking game proposal:. Every time you hear "in these uncertain times" you drink. Most will be passed out by lunchtime.
Quote from: tower912 on May 02, 2020, 04:02:49 PM
Drinking game proposal:. Every time you hear "in these uncertain times" you drink. Most will be passed out by lunchtime.
Lunch? I'd be on my fifth mimosa by 7:30.
Bonus shots for "we are in uncharted waters."
that game is probably a safer way to avoid alcohol poisoning than the alternative drinking game: "...I'm not a doctor, but..."
https://www.woodtv.com/news/michigan/state-says-permits-are-free-for-people-who-want-wood/
Great. Now you need a permit to get wood.
Quote from: tower912 on May 02, 2020, 08:05:53 PM
https://www.woodtv.com/news/michigan/state-says-permits-are-free-for-people-who-want-wood/
Great. Now you need a permit to get wood.
Over my dead body.
**pops a cialis.**
Quote from: tower912 on May 02, 2020, 08:05:53 PM
https://www.woodtv.com/news/michigan/state-says-permits-are-free-for-people-who-want-wood/
Great. Now you need a permit to get wood.
Police state.
Quote from: tower912 on May 02, 2020, 08:05:53 PM
https://www.woodtv.com/news/michigan/state-says-permits-are-free-for-people-who-want-wood/
Great. Now you need a permit to get wood.
Everyone who wants wood gets wood, hey?
Quote from: ZiggysFryBoy on May 02, 2020, 09:45:15 PM
Over my dead body.
**pops a cialis.**
Save the Cialis. I got you fam.
(https://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/men/2016/05/10/BURT-REYNOLDS-MOVIE-STAR-xlarge_trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bq9b_xp_U4YIwcFGSIFVcWjFTmGTZwRSZcqbDiPNar8DA.jpg)
Retire0, I didn't realize that you were into bears.
Quote from: warriorchick on May 03, 2020, 07:12:29 AM
Retire0, I didn't realize that you were into bears.
Bearskin rugs are luxurious
Not from first hand experience, but isn't that picture of Burt hanging in the women's bathroom at the Safehouse?
Quote from: mu_hilltopper on May 03, 2020, 09:02:44 AM
Not from first hand experience, but isn't that picture of Burt hanging in the women's bathroom at the Safehouse?
I don't know about now, but it certainly was in the eighties.
His crotchal area was covered with a little "door" shaped like a heart. If you opened the door, lights around the outside of the ladies' room door blinked. When you came out of the ladies' room, everyone knew that you looked.
(https://scontent.fmia1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/s960x960/95483466_2653627551549512_1870065869195837440_o.jpg?_nc_cat=1&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=vdlac49eHNAAX8wlnOz&_nc_ht=scontent.fmia1-1.fna&_nc_tp=7&oh=6d694cd556c6ed50beb99f27bb1ddc77&oe=5ED750CA)
So desperate for human contact that I am chatting up the robocalls. My car's extended warranty and Medicare information I didn't request is suddenly fascinating.
(https://refuge-cdn.nolayingup.dev/original/3X/9/3/9336e061283c9cc6e0b80c63399eb97f82bd21a3.jpeg)
Quote from: tower912 on May 05, 2020, 11:30:39 AM
So desperate for human contact that I am chatting up the robocalls. My car's extended warranty and Medicare information I didn't request is suddenly fascinating.
Lol! I will have to give that a shot.
An
extended warranty, you say? ;D
This made me laugh out loud.
I was so disappointed to learn that it's not "real" -- but the trolling was 100% real. And it was glorious.
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EXXoNOfU8AEoENA?format=jpg&name=900x900)
.
https://twitter.com/TravisAllen02/status/1260351757353443329 (https://twitter.com/TravisAllen02/status/1260351757353443329)
The Obama administration secretly installed cameras in all public places.
They're tracking you with facial recognition technology.
WEAR A MASK THAT COVERS YOUR MOUTH AND NOSE SO YOU CAN'T BE TRACKED.
Please retweet and like to spread to all the true patriots!
Quote from: TSmith34 on May 13, 2020, 08:11:02 AM
https://twitter.com/TravisAllen02/status/1260351757353443329 (https://twitter.com/TravisAllen02/status/1260351757353443329)
The Obama administration secretly installed cameras in all public places.
They're tracking you with facial recognition technology.
WEAR A MASK THAT COVERS YOUR MOUTH AND NOSE SO YOU CAN'T BE TRACKED.
Please retweet and like to spread to all the true patriots!
That is hilarious
Triple reverse psychology. Nice.
Quote from: TSmith34 on May 13, 2020, 08:11:02 AM
https://twitter.com/TravisAllen02/status/1260351757353443329 (https://twitter.com/TravisAllen02/status/1260351757353443329)
The Obama administration secretly installed cameras in all public places.
They're tracking you with facial recognition technology.
WEAR A MASK THAT COVERS YOUR MOUTH AND NOSE SO YOU CAN'T BE TRACKED.
Please retweet and like to spread to all the true patriots!
Impeach Obama.
Why NYC is the COVID hot spot that it is:
Loud talking could leave coronavirus in the air for up to 14 minutes
https://www.technologyreview.com/2020/05/13/1001696/loud-talking-could-leave-coronavirus-in-the-air-for-up-to-14-minutes
Quote from: pbiflyer on May 14, 2020, 08:40:32 AM
Why NYC is the COVID hot spot that it is:
Loud talking could leave coronavirus in the air for up to 14 minutes
https://www.technologyreview.com/2020/05/13/1001696/loud-talking-could-leave-coronavirus-in-the-air-for-up-to-14-minutes
But if you talk loud in NYC you will have 20 people telling you to "Shut your, (^*&%*%&( mouth". Unless it's the subway, then you put your hat out and get paid!
Every single person that had a job interview in early 2015 got the question "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" wrong.
Saw this one on Texts From Last night:
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Ha
(https://scontent.fmia1-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/98108672_612413176150656_1788425563170406400_n.jpg?_nc_cat=100&_nc_sid=8024bb&_nc_ohc=UiKhXFc0ejQAX_Yday6&_nc_ht=scontent.fmia1-2.fna&oh=dd25f0b8632df47f447aaf16ab9a4d61&oe=5EE87661)
Of all the people out of work right now, men are the real victims. They're losing a whole dollar for every 79 cents women are losing!!
h/t @bubola
Quote from: pbiflyer on May 19, 2020, 10:46:00 AM
(https://scontent.fmia1-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/98108672_612413176150656_1788425563170406400_n.jpg?_nc_cat=100&_nc_sid=8024bb&_nc_ohc=UiKhXFc0ejQAX_Yday6&_nc_ht=scontent.fmia1-2.fna&oh=dd25f0b8632df47f447aaf16ab9a4d61&oe=5EE87661)
Oh my God!
Is that like Rodney Dangerfield telling Kurt Vonnegut he doesn't know anything about Kurt Vonnegut?
Quote from: ZiggysFryBoy on May 19, 2020, 11:01:17 AM
Of all the people out of work right now, men are the real victims. They're losing a whole dollar for every 79 cents women are losing!!
h/t @bubola
(https://media.giphy.com/media/3o6nV3VmHd6XTtUyDm/giphy.gif)
Quote from: MU Fan in Connecticut on May 19, 2020, 11:01:47 AM
Oh my God!
Is that like Rodney Dangerfield telling Kurt Vonnegut he doesn't know anything about Kurt Vonnegut?
I think the better analogy would be someone telling Ners he doesn't know anything about dunking.
https://twitter.com/DrSuperSalty/status/1262997268975824896?s=19
Overheard today at Home Depot:
"I tried going to that communist store down the street. Ya know the one - Menards. They make you wear a mask now. I want to sue them for my right to go in the store"
I chuckled.
Yes. John Menard is a noted communist.
Quote from: jesmu84 on May 21, 2020, 10:08:56 AM
Overheard today at Home Depot:
"I tried going to that communist store down the street. Ya know the one - Menards. They make you wear a mask now. I want to sue them for my right to go in the store"
I chuckled.
News articles on Connecticut reopening today made mention of stores hanging up signs that read, "No shoes, no shirt, no mask, NO SERVICE."
https://nypost.com/2020/05/20/nurse-disciplined-for-wearing-only-bra-and-panties-under-ppe-gown/
Russia appears to be developing excellent patient care protocols
Quote from: jesmu84 on May 21, 2020, 10:48:53 AM
https://nypost.com/2020/05/20/nurse-disciplined-for-wearing-only-bra-and-panties-under-ppe-gown/
protocola
How much caffeine? Does it come in diet? And, since it is Russian based, is it safe to have near a 5G tower?
Quote from: tower912 on May 21, 2020, 10:51:55 AM
How much caffeine? Does it come in diet? And, since it is Russian based, is it safe to have near a 5G tower?
Nice.
;)
Well, here's the bright side of COVID:
https://www.whichcar.com.au/news/the-cannonball-run-record-has-been-obliterated
Quote from: mu_hilltopper on May 21, 2020, 01:40:08 PM
Well, here's the bright side of COVID:
https://www.whichcar.com.au/news/the-cannonball-run-record-has-been-obliterated
Next time we're Methodists.
Quote from: jesmu84 on May 21, 2020, 10:48:53 AM
https://nypost.com/2020/05/20/nurse-disciplined-for-wearing-only-bra-and-panties-under-ppe-gown/
Russia appears to be developing excellent patient care protocols
Love it! My favorite quote: "Well done, she raised the mood of the patients."
Indeed.
Quote from: GooooMarquette on May 21, 2020, 02:21:21 PM
Love it! My favorite quote: "Well done, she raised the mood of the patients."
Indeed.
She raised more than that judging by the guys face behind her
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EYyifDAXkAEJYG0?format=jpg&name=small)
Quote from: mu_hilltopper on May 24, 2020, 10:20:01 PM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EYyifDAXkAEJYG0?format=jpg&name=small)
It's not like there isn't precedent here
https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/medical-mysteries/this-familys-repeated-strep-throat-infections-frustrated-their-doctors/2020/05/22/ddbaac56-7f1c-11ea-a3ee-13e1ae0a3571_story.html (https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/medical-mysteries/this-familys-repeated-strep-throat-infections-frustrated-their-doctors/2020/05/22/ddbaac56-7f1c-11ea-a3ee-13e1ae0a3571_story.html)
Quote from: Frenns Liquor Depot on May 25, 2020, 08:34:34 AM
It's not like there isn't precedent here
https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/medical-mysteries/this-familys-repeated-strep-throat-infections-frustrated-their-doctors/2020/05/22/ddbaac56-7f1c-11ea-a3ee-13e1ae0a3571_story.html (https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/medical-mysteries/this-familys-repeated-strep-throat-infections-frustrated-their-doctors/2020/05/22/ddbaac56-7f1c-11ea-a3ee-13e1ae0a3571_story.html)
That is nuts, thanks for posting. .. about 3 years ago, my wife got Strep 6 times in ~7 months. Eventually a family friend and ENT doc, suggested our two boys get tested. Sure enough, they were asymptomatic carriers. We gave them antibiotics and my wife never got it again.
Also, I have a cat. Never thought about the possibility.
Monkey steals COVID-19 blood samples from a lab technician in India
https://www.livescience.com/monkey-steals-covid-19-blood-samples.html
A monkey attacked a lab technician on the campus of a medical school in India and ran away with blood samples from three patients infected with COVID-19.
The robbed lab technician, meanwhile, took video with his phone of the incident. After snatching the samples and other medical items, the video reveals, the monkey clambered up a nearby tree; that video, which was shared on social media, also shows the animal gnawing on what look like surgical gloves, Indian news outlet NDTV reported.
https://youtu.be/cG7xB5vyt2U
https://www.cracked.com/pictofacts-1739-surprising-funny-moments-in-this-mess/
Trump's Bleach Moment Now Seeming Like Career High Point
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump's widely ridiculed musing about the healing powers of household disinfectants now seems like a career high point, according to prominent historians.
While Trump's suggestion that ingesting bleach could treat the coronavirus appeared, at the time, to be a catastrophic misstep, his actions in recent days have forced many historians to revise that assessment, Davis Logsdon, a Presidential historian, said.
"This week, we've seen Trump tear-gas peaceful protesters, offend religious leaders by using a Bible as a prop, and threaten to use the military against the American people," Logsdon said. "In retrospect, suggesting that people ingest Clorox and put ultraviolet lights inside their bodies seems like the act of a responsible public servant."
Logsdon added that, with unrest roiling the nation and unemployment soaring to levels not seen since the Great Depression, "Trump's best bet may be to remind the American people, 'I'm the man who told you to drink bleach.' "
"All things considered, that may be his finest hour," the historian said.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trumps-bleach-moment-now-seeming-like-career-high-point
Political.
/kisses fingers
https://twitter.com/PeaDeeKay/status/1268376043011833856
A simple mistake, or is the statement a CYA move by the team?
Yes, Those Were Sex Dolls Cheering On a South Korean Soccer Team
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/18/world/asia/south-korea-sex-dolls-soccer.html
The club FC Seoul apologized on Monday after what it believed were ordinary mannequins — quickly recognized by many fans as sex dolls — were placed in the stands for a match against Gwangju FC.
Some on social media noted the telltale signs, like the business logos for sex toy marketers on the dolls' clothing, or their strikingly buxom physiques. Of the roughly two dozen dolls in the stands, nearly all were women.
"We had tried to add some fun in the no-spectator match," FC Seoul said in a statement. "But we have not checked all the details, and that is clearly our fault."
(https://scontent.fmia1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/106123564_4003796982996101_8732768250423978944_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=odXDXBQn14YAX-lJpP3&_nc_ht=scontent.fmia1-1.fna&oh=31ba71465a1496c7356c0ec3b739531e&oe=5F18D52A)
Perfect!
With all the talk about wearing masks or not wearing them, I will admit I was very annoyed the first time people were telling me that I should wear a face covering while out in public. This was in 1998 !
I get no respect, no respect at all I tell ya.
(https://scontent.fmia1-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/109226829_10222624710629502_3115104259386359077_n.jpg?_nc_cat=111&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=v84yhlyEc1YAX-Ay5DJ&_nc_ht=scontent.fmia1-2.fna&oh=bc9620a9d5976aeb609db3a5eba4c57c&oe=5F37C4E8)
https://twitter.com/i/status/1288360748104597505
(https://i.redd.it/1lejst2tc8f51.jpg)
(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/f0/91/05/f091059cbbda30ec4fc357abc395da73.jpg)
(https://i.redd.it/gft8poiyr8g51.jpg)
I'd tell a Covid-19 joke, but the overwhelming majority of you won't get it.
Quote from: warriorchick on August 15, 2020, 10:50:45 AM
I'd tell a Covid-19 joke, but the overwhelming majority of you won't get it.
I bet that joke killed in NYC.
apologies if that was too dark of a joke.
NM
Quote from: warriorchick on August 15, 2020, 10:50:45 AM
I'd tell a Covid-19 joke, but the overwhelming majority of you won't get it.
Herman Caine got it.
Have a great weekend everybody
(https://i.imgur.com/Dp6mtzj.png)
PANDEMIC:
DEM, surrounded by PANIC.
Probably the only one keeping a level head.
Not bad, though
Quote from: tower912 on October 20, 2020, 07:51:37 PM
Probably the only one keeping a level head.
Not bad, though
You pretty much always do.
Keeping one's sense of humor (and sense of smell) is key.
(https://scontent.fmia1-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/122777423_766486020867447_686349640183520975_n.jpg?_nc_cat=110&ccb=2&_nc_sid=825194&_nc_ohc=B5N5jIqVk7oAX9RNiTD&_nc_ht=scontent.fmia1-2.fna&oh=30663ddf11e11be9880b61906af2bf16&oe=5FBE9FA5)
Well that's awesome.
21st Century Covidman
(http://www.thetradersden.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=228072&stc=1&d=1604349124)
As the US hits 10-million cases (world first, suck it!) it's time to break out this oldie-but-a-goodie
https://www.youtube.com/v/m2s0nB2VPvs
This is the 12 person list of President Biden's COVID-19 Advisory Board:
https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/1325800445193949184?s=19
Quote from: shoothoops on November 09, 2020, 08:32:38 AM
This is the 12 person list of President Biden's COVID-19 Advisory Board:
https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/1325800445193949184?s=19
Man is competence boring. I'm going to miss the releases with task forces comprised of like, the Flex Seal guy, Danny Bonaduce, and Dale (but not Chip) from Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers.
Quote from: shoothoops on November 09, 2020, 08:32:38 AM
This is the 12 person list of President Biden's COVID-19 Advisory Board:
https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/1325800445193949184?s=19
Glad to see competence is rewarded and Dr. Bright is back.
Quote from: MUBurrow on November 09, 2020, 10:13:17 AM
Man is competence boring. I'm going to miss the releases with task forces comprised of like, the Flex Seal guy, Danny Bonaduce, and Dale (but not Chip) from Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers.
So weird to see expertise and competence being the key criteria rather than personal and unquestioning loyalty.
I'm here live, I'm not a cat...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGOofzZOyl8
Quote from: rocky_warrior on February 10, 2021, 01:26:25 AM
I'm here live, I'm not a cat...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGOofzZOyl8
I can't stop watching that. The eyes when the filter is first mention have me rolling.
Quote from: cheebs09 on February 10, 2021, 01:55:45 AM
I can't stop watching that. The eyes when the filter is first mention have me rolling.
I've watched it several times tonight, and it gets better every time. You watch the other two guys react (put the glasses on, lol), and I'm amazed they don't bust out laughing. Even better that the judge is the one that actually knows about filters. One of the first few comments "That's exactly what a cat would say". All of it made my day.
Quote from: rocky_warrior on February 10, 2021, 02:06:52 AM
I've watched it several times tonight, and it gets better every time. You watch the other two guys react (put the glasses on, lol), and I'm amazed they don't bust out laughing. Even better that the judge is the one that actually knows about filters. One of the first few comments "That's exactly what a cat would say". All of it made my day.
Agreed. My work day was super long and stressful yesterday. Found that same video late last night, watched it several times and couldn't stop laughing...forgot about a long stressful day.
That is great
(https://i.imgur.com/E9vouPV.png)
(https://scontent.fmia1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/270743080_5497138596973773_2240496865934279302_n.jpg)
I heard Cookie Monster tested positive for Covid. Apparently he has the OMN OMN OMN-nicron variant.
OMN my God, wow - very unfunny. Did your neighbor's kid bring that one home from pre school?
Quote from: Lennys Tap on December 30, 2021, 10:26:32 PM
OMN my God, wow - very unfunny. Did your neighbor's kid bring that one home from pre school?
Close. My fifth grade nephew told it to me at Christmas.
Quote from: Lennys Tap on December 30, 2021, 10:26:32 PM
OMN my God, wow - very unfunny. Did your neighbor's kid bring that one home from pre school?
It's a joke thread, you curmudgeon.
But I guess you not realizing that is pretty funny in a sad way.
Quote from: Hards_Alumni on December 31, 2021, 10:25:11 AM
It's a joke thread, you curmudgeon.
But I guess you not realizing that is pretty funny in a sad way.
No sh!t, Sherlock.
What's truly funny (in a sad way) is you not realizing that jokes are supposed to be. Funny, that is.
Quote from: Fluffy Blue Monster on December 31, 2021, 07:04:52 AM
Close. My fifth grade nephew told it to me at Christmas.
Fair enough.
Quote from: Lennys Tap on December 31, 2021, 09:58:26 PM
No sh!t, Sherlock.
What's truly funny (in a sad way) is you not realizing that jokes are supposed to be. Funny, that is.
Good one?
Period?
Covid horse race:
https://youtu.be/KuBGem9jfg4
avoiding omicron:
https://twitter.com/timjhogan/status/1476720266218811393
You know 10 years from now there is going to be a standardized test with the following math problem:
If Matt was exposed to Covid on Tuesday and had no symptoms four days later and he got it from Susie who caught it at a party three days before Matt tested positive five days later, how likely is Matt's little brother going to test positive on an antigen test if he tests two days after Matt tests positive?
https://thehill.com/changing-america/enrichment/arts-culture/589750-in-surprising-new-study-researchers-find-face-masks
Masks make guys more attractive to women.
The guy who says this....
Quote from: Lennys Tap on December 31, 2021, 09:58:26 PM
What's truly funny (in a sad way) is you not realizing that jokes are supposed to be. Funny, that is.
Then says this....
Quote from: Lennys Tap on January 16, 2022, 07:01:28 PM
You know 10 years from now there is going to be a standardized test with the following math problem:
If Matt was exposed to Covid on Tuesday and had no symptoms four days later and he got it from Susie who caught it at a party three days before Matt tested positive five days later, how likely is Matt's little brother going to test positive on an antigen test if he tests two days after Matt tests positive?
Quote from: Fluffy Blue Monster on January 17, 2022, 07:51:56 AM
The guy who says this....
Then says this....
I could receive no greater compliment than a "thumbs down" from the humorless guy who relies on his unfunny 5th grade nephew for the infrequent laughs in his joyless life.
Thank you.
Quote from: Lennys Tap on January 17, 2022, 09:17:34 AM
I could receive no greater compliment than a "thumbs down" from the humorless guy who relies on his unfunny 5th grade nephew for the infrequent laughs in his joyless life.
Thank you.
Again, this is entirely too easy.
Novak Djokovic is the first player bounced from a grand slam event after only missing two shots.
You have to hand it to the Aussies when it comes to tennis. They really know how to return a Serb.
Quote from: pbiflyer on January 17, 2022, 07:39:06 PM
Novak Djokovic is the first player bounced from a grand slam event after only missing two shots.
You have to hand it to the Aussies when it comes to tennis. They really know how to return a Serb.
Is that racist in 2022?
Quote from: #UnleashKolek on January 17, 2022, 08:09:05 PM
Is that racist in 2022?
What are the two races involved here?
New movie remake.
One step closer to normalcy... For the first time in 18 months, I smelled asparagus pee.
Quote from: tower912 on May 11, 2022, 07:47:02 PM
One step closer to normalcy... For the first time in 18 months, I smelled asparagus pee.
(https://c.tenor.com/0_wH0zA9eyAAAAAC/looking-puppet.gif)
Quote from: tower912 on May 11, 2022, 07:47:02 PM
One step closer to normalcy... For the first time in 18 months, I smelled asparagus pee.
Your own?
Yes.
Sew know golden shower, aina?
Quote from: 4everwarriors on May 12, 2022, 06:46:18 AM
Sew know golden shower, aina?
Woulda been a green shower.
No relation to the green weenies Shaka keeps experiencing on the recruiting trail.
Quote from: tower912 on May 11, 2022, 07:47:02 PM
One step closer to normalcy... For the first time in 18 months, I smelled asparagus pee.
Just lost my sense of smell and taste. Hoping I don't have to wait 18 months to smell asparagus pee.
My sense of smell isn't normal yet. Sadly, though, I can now smell my 15 year old son's dirty laundry.
Quote from: tower912 on May 14, 2022, 05:15:38 AM
My sense of smell isn't normal yet. Sadly, though, I can now smell my 15 year old son's dirty laundry.
That's so wild. Any other noticeable impacts from the brain damage? Are you still feeling pretty quick-witted?
i nevverr hadd brane fogg. Eye styll kant stop & smelle da flours, as aye cannt smelle swete yet.
Quote from: tower912 on May 14, 2022, 10:06:54 AM
i nevverr hadd brane fogg. Eye styll kant stop & smelle da flours, as aye cannt smelle swete yet.
No offense intended. Losing smell and taste is the result of brain damage... Or so I read somewhere. I'm not a doctor and I have a terrible memory, ha!
None taken.
My nephew proposed to his long time girlfriend last week and she accepted. A party on Saturday to celebrate. His future mother in law tested positive on Sunday, his new fiance on Monday, my nephew today.
If ever there was a metaphor for marriage...
Quote from: tower912 on May 19, 2022, 10:55:51 AM
My nephew proposed to his long time girlfriend last week and she accepted. A party on Saturday to celebrate. His future mother in law tested positive on Sunday, his new fiance on Monday, my nephew today.
If ever there was a metaphor for marriage...
Are they horses?
Quote from: tower912 on May 19, 2022, 10:55:51 AM
My nephew proposed to his long time girlfriend last week and she accepted. A party on Saturday to celebrate. His future mother in law tested positive on Sunday, his new fiance on Monday, my nephew today.
If ever there was a metaphor for marriage...
I had a friend that happened to. His daughter was scheduled to be married in 2020, which was impossible with Covid-19. The family had a private ceremony because the groom's Dad had ALS (and has since passed).
The wedding was rescheduled for last year. It was a Door County destination wedding. We were packed Thursday night and ready to go when we received a call saying the Bride, Father of the Bride and Maid of Honor all had Covid-19.
Since we had reservations, we went to Door anyway. But the reception was postponed with no make-up date.
Quote from: dgies9156 on May 26, 2022, 11:41:33 AM
I had a friend that happened to. His daughter was scheduled to be married in 2020, which was impossible with Covid-19. The family had a private ceremony because the groom's Dad had ALS (and has since passed).
The wedding was rescheduled for last year. It was a Door County destination wedding. We were packed Thursday night and ready to go when we received a call saying the Bride, Father of the Bride and Maid of Honor all had Covid-19.
Since we had reservations, we went to Door anyway. But the reception was postponed with no make-up date.
I had thought impossible until a buddy's son had a December 2020 wedding with a full reception. We took a pass on attending that one.
Quote from: dgies9156 on May 26, 2022, 11:41:33 AM
I had a friend that happened to. His daughter was scheduled to be married in 2020, which was impossible with Covid-19. The family had a private ceremony because the groom's Dad had ALS (and has since passed).
The wedding was rescheduled for last year. It was a Door County destination wedding. We were packed Thursday night and ready to go when we received a call saying the Bride, Father of the Bride and Maid of Honor all had Covid-19.
Since we had reservations, we went to Door anyway. But the reception was postponed with no make-up date.
One of my closest friends got married about a year ago. Originally was June 2020, but yea... His extended family in Ohio had been waffling on going to CO for the wedding cause "travel is not safe with COVID. Mind you none of them were vaccinated at the time for whatever reason. He and his parents sort of shrugged it of and moved on.
2 weeks before the wedding about half of them got COVID from a party at a bar they went to. Can't make it up.
Meanwhile the wedding was gorgeous and incredible, super fun, and nobody amongst the 150 guests had any ill effects
Q: What do you get when you add Science and Politics?
A: Politics.
Quote from: Lennys Tap on September 04, 2022, 11:48:37 AM
Q: What do you get when you add Science and Politics?
A: Politics.
😂
Great one boomer.
So, we can shut this board down now,right?
https://www.cnn.com/2022/09/18/politics/biden-pandemic-60-minutes/index.html
Quote from: Billy Hoyle on September 18, 2022, 10:16:25 PM
So, we can shut this board down now,right?
https://www.cnn.com/2022/09/18/politics/biden-pandemic-60-minutes/index.html
Well, you injected politics into a thread that specifically, right in its subject line, calls for non-political posts only. But anyway, from the oft-quoted (when it serves folks' narratives) Dr. Leana Wen:
President Biden's off-the-cuff comment during a "60 Minutes" interview that "the pandemic is over" has sparked outrage from all sides. Republicans are accusing Biden of hypocrisy as he asks Congress for more covid-19 funding, while some on the left point to the disease's continued death toll as evidence that the pandemic is nowhere near its finish line.
These criticisms don't detract from Biden's point. He's right. By multiple definitions, the pandemic is over. That doesn't mean that the coronavirus is no longer causing harm; it simply signals the end of an emergency state as covid has evolved into an endemic disease. ...
For most of the country, the pandemic is effectively over because it is no longer altering people's day-to-day lives. To them, covid has evolved from a dire deadly disease to one that's more akin to the flu. It's still something people want to avoid, and they'll take basic steps to do so, such as getting an annual vaccine. Some might choose to take extra precautions, such as masking in indoor settings. But the societal end of the pandemic has already arrived, a sentiment reflected in Biden's comment.https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/09/19/biden-covid-pandemic-over/?utm_campaign=wp_post_most&utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter&wpisrc=nl_most&carta-url=https%3A%2F%2Fs2.washingtonpost.com%2Fcar-ln-tr%2F37f9b6f%2F6329e5d5f3d9003c58e4a097%2F5f8d147cae7e8a56e5b732a4%2F54%2F72%2F6329e5d5f3d9003c58e4a097&wp_cu=b1005792a416de1fbe1f17e5cf366b7d%7CB1FF71CA724A36FAE0530100007F88D6
Quote from: MU82 on September 20, 2022, 04:17:03 PM
Well, you injected politics into a thread that specifically, right in its subject line, calls for non-political posts only. But anyway, from the oft-quoted (when it serves folks' narratives) Dr. Leana Wen:
President Biden's off-the-cuff comment during a "60 Minutes" interview that "the pandemic is over" has sparked outrage from all sides. Republicans are accusing Biden of hypocrisy as he asks Congress for more covid-19 funding, while some on the left point to the disease's continued death toll as evidence that the pandemic is nowhere near its finish line.
These criticisms don't detract from Biden's point. He's right. By multiple definitions, the pandemic is over. That doesn't mean that the coronavirus is no longer causing harm; it simply signals the end of an emergency state as covid has evolved into an endemic disease. ...
For most of the country, the pandemic is effectively over because it is no longer altering people's day-to-day lives. To them, covid has evolved from a dire deadly disease to one that's more akin to the flu. It's still something people want to avoid, and they'll take basic steps to do so, such as getting an annual vaccine. Some might choose to take extra precautions, such as masking in indoor settings. But the societal end of the pandemic has already arrived, a sentiment reflected in Biden's comment.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/09/19/biden-covid-pandemic-over/?utm_campaign=wp_post_most&utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter&wpisrc=nl_most&carta-url=https%3A%2F%2Fs2.washingtonpost.com%2Fcar-ln-tr%2F37f9b6f%2F6329e5d5f3d9003c58e4a097%2F5f8d147cae7e8a56e5b732a4%2F54%2F72%2F6329e5d5f3d9003c58e4a097&wp_cu=b1005792a416de1fbe1f17e5cf366b7d%7CB1FF71CA724A36FAE0530100007F88D6
Did 82 million people (🤔) vote for Dr Leana Wen?
Let's get back to humor.